Past Imperfect
by elsaistherelifeonmars
Summary: Zosia is trying her hardest to find out more about Jac's past relationships. Jac/Zosia. Referenced Jac/Connie, Jac/Sahira, Jac/Mary-Claire and Jac/Penny. M for language and implications.
**Right, this is probably the most random thing I've ever written haha! How can you possibly incorporate all Jac/women ships in one short oneshot? Well, I've tried :D Meant to sort of be a birthday present for** **Mirriall** **haha! Happy Birthday! Hope you enjoy this randomness :D M for language and implications I guess :D**

"When I said you could ask anything of me, that's not what I meant." Jac Naylor shook her head.

"Come on, Jac I want to know." Zosia March smirked at her girlfriend.

"Why? What difference does it make?" Jac was frustrated, she just couldn't understand why she wanted to know about the women she'd slept with before her. Especially _now_! Uncomfortably she tugged at the handcuffs restraining her against the bed frame. The key was on top of the bedside table. This had seemed like such a great idea at the time but Zosia wasn't as predictable as she had thought. She was relishing the feeling of absolute control.

"I want to know what I'm up against." The junior smirked as she climbed on top of her girlfriend and kissed her lightly, teasingly.

"You're not up against anyone, I'm with you, there is no-one else, I love you." Jac explained impatiently.

"Oh that's cute." Zosia smirked, she wasn't going to let her off that easily.

"I mean it Zosia, why do we have to…"

"Because you agreed to do whatever I wanted you to, remember? I what I want is for you to tell me - in detail - about all the women you fucked and then I will make you forget about them." Jac shuddered involuntarily at her word choice. "Surely in ten years at Holby you've had some fun?" She murmured against the shell of her ear feeling her tense beneath her. "Who was your first?" Slowly she kissed down her throat sucking lightly on her collar bone. "Tell me or we can stop right now."

"Connie." Jac said at last, that wasn't news to her, she had mentioned their past relationship in passing before, no matter how short-lived it had been.

"I can imagine Connie putting you through your paces. Bet you weren't as cocky as you are now…" The junior hummed.

"Oh you'd be surprised."

"No I wouldn't be." Zosia smirked against her soft skin. "You know I knew about Connie. Who else?"

"You probably won't know them…" She retorted vaguely.

"I might have heard of them." The junior countered running her hand down her sternum, stomach and coming to rest on her hip.

"Sahira Shah?"

"CT, right?" Zosia confirmed and Jac was sure she must have spoken to Oliver about this. He was one of the few people who'd know.

"That was just one time." She forced herself to answer. "One very… aggressive time. We were up against each other for the consultant job on Darwin… We were competing over everything, fighting, arguing, there was a lot of… tension."

"And who won _that_ fight?" Zosia grinned before kissing her again.

"Who do you think?" Jac smirked not about to lose face in front of her.

"I think you're lying." Zosia mused running her hands up Jac's upper body. She leaned forward kissing her neck just beneath her ear. "You're not as good a liar as you think you are." She whispered making her shudder. "Who else?"

"Jesus Christ, Zosia, please just…"

"Oh so someone that I know?" The junior concluded.

"Zosia!" Jac exclaimed, she didn't want to play this game any longer.

"I can do this all night." She chuckled, sitting up. Jac bit her lip as the sight of her girlfriend straddling her hips, looking down on her, her eyes dark with lust. The consultant tugged at the handcuffs longing to just flip her over and wipe the grin off her face. "Come on Jac, don't make this difficult." She smirked daring her to do just that.

"Mary-Claire." She admitted in frustration and Zosia eyes flickered in amusement.

"Really?"

"Just a bit of fun." Jac replied trying to assess how her girlfriend was taking the news and she decided to try and push her. Just because she was incapacitated didn't mean she was without an weapons. "A lot of fun actually."

"Was it?"

"Yeah, there was this one time when she called me into a side room for a made up emergency and she was just there on the bed…" She suddenly lost her train of thought when Zosia moved her hips against her. She ran her left hand up the inside of Jac's leg.

"Sorry, you were saying?" She smirked as her girlfriend groaned in frustration.

"Zosia, please." She very nearly whined.

"Anyone else?"

"No."

"Really?" She challenged, she could tell she was lying.

"No!" She insisted but her face told a different story. Suddenly it wasn't a game anymore.

"Jac, what's wrong?" Zosia asked immediately sensing something was off. She cupped her girlfriend's face to force her to look at her.

"Penny." She said sounding absolutely heartbroken and it shook Zosia to the core.

"Penny?" The name sounded familiar.

"Penny Valentine." Jac explained taking a deep breath, trying to compose herself.

"Ollie's sister?" She realised making the connection. "She…"

"Died, yes." She nodded. After all the years that had passed since the accident, the memory still haunted her.

"Jac, I'm so sorry, I had no idea…" Zosia didn't know how to react. Oliver had told her about his sister before, she had been a junior at Holby when she had been killed trying to rescue someone from a derailed train. Suddenly, Zosia was seeing things more clearly. Everything was making sense now: Jac's initial reluctance to enter into a relationship with her. How long it had taken her to truly commit… Last time Jac had allowed herself to really fall for a girl, she had lost her and it had taken her all those years to recover. Zosia was both humbled and terrified realising how much it must have taken for the consultant to let herself love her.

"Promise me something?" Jac said quietly snapping her out of her trance.

"Anything." She replied quietly.

"Don't be a hero. Don't endanger yourself, ever, please." It was a heartfelt plea. The look of fear in her girlfriend's eyes made her choke up.

"Okay…" She managed to say nodding.

"Please, I couldn't bare to lose you." Jac explained quietly.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jac." Zosia tried to reassure her and kissed her tenderly trying to convey just how much she loved her.

"Please undo the handcuffs." Jac chuckled when their kiss ended. It was pretty clear they would have to reschedule. All she wanted now was to hold her girlfriend close.

"No." Zosia shook her head laying her head down on Jac's chest snuggling up to her.

"Zosia please." The consultant rolled her eyes at her.

"Not yet."

"I really want to hold you." She said, a mixture between annoyance and genuine desire.

"In a bit, I'm still enjoying your helplessness." She pushed her head underneath Jac's chin nuzzling against her neck.


End file.
